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My father.

Posted 05-14-2010 at 10:46 PM by CTU_Davis
This was going to be a lengthy post, but I don't have the strength to write much right now due to several things. My father, if you can in fact call him that, has always when it is concerned with the family at large, done his own thing. My mother did the majority of raising me and my sister, the majority of the teaching of right and wrong, ect. My dad was just sort of...there. Most times when I try to do things with the man, he treats it more like a burden then a fun outing between father and son. When we do hang out, all he does is whine about how hard is day is and proceeds to go through a list of everything wrong with his life. This is a man to whom the positive side of life does not exist. Tonight, I more or less was told he no longer has time for me, what with, you know, his new band and his ****ty little mid life crisis. Now my mother is trying to give me the "He didn't mean it" speech. She is so deep in denial she's swimming, this woman.
I'm not hurt. I've hurt and I'm past the point of hurting any more. I'm more dissapointed then anything else. It's no wonder I became so messed up as I am.

I'm half tempted when I return to Pittsburgh not to return to Ohio 'till Thanksgiving.

Welcome to my special hell.
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  1. Old
    Son of Liberty's Avatar
    I've dealt with more or less the same thing these past few years. My parents have been divorced for 5 years and my father doesn't pay a cent for my education, until we took him to court, help with car insurance, until court. In fact if the court doesn't tell him he has to help pay he wouldn't. He no longer exists to me. I call him Mark, his contact info has been deleted from my phone. It's bad enough I tell him if he wants to contact me to call my mother. There's a lot more to it. But my mom has to work a lot to make ends meet. To help me with college. My brother with work and school and my sisters tuition. I have filled the spot in the family my "Dad" left. So that guy named Mark Curnutte you may have read about in the Cincinnati Enquirer, seen on Sports Center, 9 News, etc. Isn't a man, he's a bastard.

    /End rant
    Posted 05-27-2010 at 08:43 PM by Son of Liberty Son of Liberty is offline
  2. Old
    Torque's Avatar
    I can sympathize. Had the same type of father growing up. Never wanted to hang out with me, always acted like I was the worst person on the planet. Sometimes I think he flat out hated to be around me. He was living in the same house, but it felt like living with a complete stranger. All he did was nap and play golf.

    Finally my parents got a divorce when I was 16. I was actually relieved that I didn't have to be around my dad anymore. Went off to college, and saw him maybe once a year all through college. It was always me going to see him. He never once stepped foot on the campus to come see me, until graduation day. He didn't even know where I lived. I think he asked me about 10 times what my major was.

    After college, I deliberately took a break from seeing him at all. I avoided going to see him for something like 5 straight years. Even to this day, I haven't visited him in several years. My daughter doesn't even know her paternal grandfather, and she'll be 10 this year.

    A few years ago, I confronted him about what a ****ty father he had been throughout my childhood. I asked him what kind of relationship he envisioned having with me. You know what he said? "Just friends." Ouch.
    Posted 05-28-2010 at 10:31 AM by Torque Torque is offline
    Updated 05-28-2010 at 10:36 AM by Torque
  3. Old
    Son of Liberty's Avatar
    I think the best thing to take from this situation is to realize what not to do as a father. I know if/when I have kids I'll never be like my father was. I couldn't let myself get like that.
    Posted 05-28-2010 at 12:26 PM by Son of Liberty Son of Liberty is offline
  4. Old
    My father is like that and my parents have rescently divorced, my father was extremely narcissistic.
    Posted 05-29-2010 at 03:06 AM by Brewster Brewster is offline
  5. Old
    Red's Avatar
    We'll grab a brew or two and talk about ****ty families when you're down, CTU. Godspeed sir.
    Posted 05-29-2010 at 02:54 PM by Red Red is offline
  6. Old
    Dude you know what its his loss, everyone wishes and wants to be better then the "old man" i know i wish i oculd be half that.
    But after almost15 years in the military and haveing the same said son of a ***** turn his back on me when i joined up and agian when i went off to war, my family was my felow soldiers, so in short keep yer head up mate, if you need freinds i think its kinda clear here you have no shortage there of, drop a note anytime you wana shoot the poop
    Posted 05-31-2010 at 05:47 AM by Ozzsclan Ozzsclan is offline
  7. Old
    WhiteRook's Avatar
    I'm so very sorry.

    I have the opposite problem. My adult children haven't spoken to me since I re-married.
    Posted 06-03-2010 at 11:58 AM by WhiteRook WhiteRook is offline
  8. Old
    Desert-Fox's Avatar
    Happy Father's Day...
    Posted 06-20-2010 at 11:47 PM by Desert-Fox Desert-Fox is offline
  9. Old
    vietec's Avatar
    Don't worry son, I'm not disappoint for posting this.

    You do need to AIM me though, I come bearing gifts ^_^
    Posted 06-21-2010 at 10:51 PM by vietec vietec is offline
  10. Old
    Warcat's Avatar
    I know the feeling. Hang tough. My parents were divorced when I was like 3 or 4. My father has never been a part of my life until I was about 25, then it was rare if anything. Didn't even bother to attend my wedding because he thinks he was told to wear a tux. Geesh. At any rate he is not part of my life and I am making damn sure that I am not like him and I'm trying to be VERY involved in my daughter's life. He was also the inspiration for me not drinking, smoking or doing drugs because he was abusive to my mother. That said I recommend you move on with your life and using his example as someone to avoid being like. The best form of revenge is to live well.
    Posted 06-26-2010 at 08:24 PM by Warcat Warcat is offline
 

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