BF3 in a nutshell
Posted 10-27-2011 at 10:19 AM by Son of Liberty
Ok first off let me say I was pretty disappointed in the campaign... it was probably only 6 hours worth of play.
it's like the exact opposite of the storyline from MW2, instead of Russians wanting to blame Americans to start a war, the Russians are trying to prevent a war in which they are sure the Americans will start if the pieces of this "story" are put together.
You are Sgt. Blackburn, some dude who gets caught up in a lot of ****, and that one fat guy from Blackhawk Down who flies around in the chopper and keeps giving Tom Sizemore bull**** directions, well ya he's interrogating you with some guy who tries to act like Mark Harmon from NCIS and does a very bad job at doing so.
You're in Iran, your one dude gets sniped, hard. You save him. Blah blah blah typical shooter stuff, go here go there, the storyline is about as shallow as a Michael Bay movie, lots of pretty explosions and cool on screen stuff, but it lacks depth. As you keep trudging through the piles of dead Arabs you have slain you finally meet up with some dude named Captain Cole who is trying to take down the Iranian dude Al-Bashir who is working with some Russian named Solomon who blows up a nuke in Paris (A Russian nuke, that's why the Russians are like WTF we didn't do this and the U.S. is like get sum Commies) and you're Vympel leader gets a massive metal rod in his chest and dies, it's heartbreaking. But continuing on...
You capture Al-Bashir, he dies on the Osprey you take his phone. Find some Russian arms dealer named Kaffarov (LAWL SO CLOSE TO MAKAROV LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL REHASH LAWL) anyway... You realize that the Russians are invading the same backasswards country you are in. But there's a **** load of em. So instead of falling back, cuz...well you and about 25 other Marines against a Battalion of crack Ruskie Paratroopers (seems logical right?) WRONG Mr. Captain Cole who is just bucking for that promotion wants to capture or kill Kaffarov. So you trudge through laying waste to Ruskies in what seems like some bologna mission from CoD. But you get strafed by a Russian jet and your two buddies Matkovic and Campo die, hard, like blood everywhere bleehh well Matkovic was wearing Multicam so he deserved it. But anyway...
You cut to Dima, the Ruskie Vympel guy you play in two missions, you play him in the Paris mission when the nuke goes skadoosh and now in the Kaffarov mission. He capture this guy and punch him in the nuts in a cutscene, totally legit. But then Blackburn comes in, Dima tells him to shoot his CO because if he doesn't Dima will be shot and the nukes will go off and millions will die. So I was like...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3ALwKeSEYs
Cuz this dude got your boys killed
So you spray him with like 10 rounds, no full-auto indoors right? wrong, dude hits the ground like a sack of boners.
So he's dead, you're interrogated, your one dude Montes comes in and you beat the crap out of Mark Harmon wannabe and some other guy in a suit. You hop on this train that has a nuke because you had some startling realization.
You kill a bunch of dudes, Montes gets shot in the face, you and Solomon beat the **** out of each other while handcuffed together in Times Square (For some reason the HUNDREDS of people standing around are watching a UNIFORMED MARINE get his *** kicked by a guy who is dressed as a stereotypical greasy Russian bad guy with a cheap gold necklace. But you smash his head in with a rock and prevent the nuke from blowing up.
The end is some stupid sentimental thing with Dima as he holds a pistol towards his face wanting to blow his head off, but he hears a knock at the door, racks it and the screen goes dark.
LAME
it's like the exact opposite of the storyline from MW2, instead of Russians wanting to blame Americans to start a war, the Russians are trying to prevent a war in which they are sure the Americans will start if the pieces of this "story" are put together.
You are Sgt. Blackburn, some dude who gets caught up in a lot of ****, and that one fat guy from Blackhawk Down who flies around in the chopper and keeps giving Tom Sizemore bull**** directions, well ya he's interrogating you with some guy who tries to act like Mark Harmon from NCIS and does a very bad job at doing so.
You're in Iran, your one dude gets sniped, hard. You save him. Blah blah blah typical shooter stuff, go here go there, the storyline is about as shallow as a Michael Bay movie, lots of pretty explosions and cool on screen stuff, but it lacks depth. As you keep trudging through the piles of dead Arabs you have slain you finally meet up with some dude named Captain Cole who is trying to take down the Iranian dude Al-Bashir who is working with some Russian named Solomon who blows up a nuke in Paris (A Russian nuke, that's why the Russians are like WTF we didn't do this and the U.S. is like get sum Commies) and you're Vympel leader gets a massive metal rod in his chest and dies, it's heartbreaking. But continuing on...
You capture Al-Bashir, he dies on the Osprey you take his phone. Find some Russian arms dealer named Kaffarov (LAWL SO CLOSE TO MAKAROV LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL REHASH LAWL) anyway... You realize that the Russians are invading the same backasswards country you are in. But there's a **** load of em. So instead of falling back, cuz...well you and about 25 other Marines against a Battalion of crack Ruskie Paratroopers (seems logical right?) WRONG Mr. Captain Cole who is just bucking for that promotion wants to capture or kill Kaffarov. So you trudge through laying waste to Ruskies in what seems like some bologna mission from CoD. But you get strafed by a Russian jet and your two buddies Matkovic and Campo die, hard, like blood everywhere bleehh well Matkovic was wearing Multicam so he deserved it. But anyway...
You cut to Dima, the Ruskie Vympel guy you play in two missions, you play him in the Paris mission when the nuke goes skadoosh and now in the Kaffarov mission. He capture this guy and punch him in the nuts in a cutscene, totally legit. But then Blackburn comes in, Dima tells him to shoot his CO because if he doesn't Dima will be shot and the nukes will go off and millions will die. So I was like...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3ALwKeSEYs
Cuz this dude got your boys killed
So you spray him with like 10 rounds, no full-auto indoors right? wrong, dude hits the ground like a sack of boners.
So he's dead, you're interrogated, your one dude Montes comes in and you beat the crap out of Mark Harmon wannabe and some other guy in a suit. You hop on this train that has a nuke because you had some startling realization.
You kill a bunch of dudes, Montes gets shot in the face, you and Solomon beat the **** out of each other while handcuffed together in Times Square (For some reason the HUNDREDS of people standing around are watching a UNIFORMED MARINE get his *** kicked by a guy who is dressed as a stereotypical greasy Russian bad guy with a cheap gold necklace. But you smash his head in with a rock and prevent the nuke from blowing up.
The end is some stupid sentimental thing with Dima as he holds a pistol towards his face wanting to blow his head off, but he hears a knock at the door, racks it and the screen goes dark.
LAME
Total Comments 35
Comments
-
And I'm stoked for SyndicatePosted 10-31-2011 at 03:52 PM by Son of Liberty 
-
The game has bullet-drop, delayed crack of a bullet going super-sonic, and deadly defib paddles. I love Battlefield.
Posted 10-31-2011 at 07:42 PM by NegSpace
-
Am I the only one who enjoyed the campaign? Although the ending was kind of lame.
Posted 10-31-2011 at 10:49 PM by Koala
-
I enjoyed it also Koala.
Posted 11-01-2011 at 08:29 PM by cj93
-
OFP did all that bullet drop and delayed sound in 2001...
Looks cool, but I can't stand competitive games. Will get it sometime anyways. Bring on Skyrim and Metro: LL though!Posted 11-01-2011 at 11:48 PM by Falcon
-
Did they have the paddles? *zap*
Posted 11-02-2011 at 12:11 AM by NegSpace
-
Only reason to play the story is so you can unlock online co-op missions to unlock the MP7.
Posted 11-02-2011 at 08:44 AM by Sunshine
-
Love this game.. I'm 1 unlock away from unlocking everything for the Jets
Posted 11-02-2011 at 02:27 PM by Sparky
-
I'm really good at crashing aircraft into the ground
Posted 11-03-2011 at 09:56 AM by Son of Liberty
-
Well I am seeing the M249 as a super power weapon, I never win when I face an M249 with my m4 or my A-91.
Posted 11-04-2011 at 02:20 PM by Koala
-
Glad I wasted 10 minutes of my life reading this then wasting 6 hours of my life on the campaign. Thanks for saving me 60$ matt!
Posted 11-05-2011 at 10:45 PM by OverLord
-
Hey SOL lets have a giant lawn darts competition on BF3 cus I'm also great at flying aircraft into the ground.
Posted 11-06-2011 at 11:25 PM by cj93
-
And they were like:LAWL BEST GAEM EVAR.Pardon my break of proper grammar.
Posted 11-07-2011 at 07:23 AM by armyus516
-
Im very good at crashing jets into the ground as well......
Posted 11-07-2011 at 07:25 AM by armyus516
-
Anyone who wants to challenge me in a game of lawn darts is welcome to add me, my tag is Derga Stan (360)
Posted 11-07-2011 at 09:52 AM by Son of Liberty
