Adoption

[Dougrich]

I was wondering, if anyone else on here was adopted. I was adopted when I was 6 months old.

[MinioN]

Pree Birth.

[hcso3716]

Yea, I am so is my brother were from the same mother. Adopted before I was born and my adopted dad is too. Kinda a family thing I guess.

[Dougrich]

That's cool. I never meet anyone else who was oddly enough.

[jsnell]

I was adopted twice, once when I was seven and again as a teenager.

[Wraith]

Yeah, was adopted when I was 5 or 6. So was my brother when I was 4 or so. We didn't end up in the same family though and I've never seen my brother again.

Have you been thinking of searching? I can tell you from experience it's no easy road. I've been looking for over 20 years and the only thing I've been able to find was my orphan name, my real name and my actual birthdate. That doesn't seem like much, but it is a heck of alot more than I used to know.

No surprise you haven't met any other adoptees. We usually don't talk about it much. Here is a couple questions for you guys who were adopted because I've been curious: Do you find yourselves attracted to water? Are there unusual occurrances in your families? For instance everyone in my immediate family that was born after I came around has been born...well, on the same day as the month number...for lack of a better way of putting it. My brother was born on 10/10, my sister born on 11/11. I married my wife so she doesn't count, however her birthday is 12/12. Now skip ahead to my two kids. My son born on 12/20. That doesn't follow the pattern. However his actual due date was 12/24. (two birthdays in the month. 12x2=24) We chose to have him taken early because he was breech. He would've went to term had the complications not arose. Now my little girl, born on 6/6. ( at 6:36 am weighing 6lbs 6 oz.) Now just to top all that, my birthday is 2/19 and has been since my adoption. But it wasn't my true birthdate rather the date my adoption was finalized. My true birthdate...7/7.

[Dougrich]

hmm, I don't follow your pattern 10/03. I love water, lol. We've got a one acre pond.

Well, actually I looked into it last year. i went to darke county family services. I gave them my birthday date, social, and phone number. it only took them a month to find my mom. That was cool. I've got 3 brothers on that side of the family. My mom lives in Texas with my brothers so I never meet them, but there suppose to come up next year at some point.Then I located my dad's side. This where those horror stories I keep hearing about come from. I never meet him nor do I want to because he's in prison. I meet with my dada side three times and that was enough never to go back or answer my cell when they call. This is an example of my dad's side I meet one of my uncles on his first day out of jail for cocaine. yeah, scum of the earth. I ignore them and am disgusted by them. They live in Greenville so a little close for comfort and I go to college at Edison community college in greenville...naturally...lol. I carry my trust louisville slugger in my truck though, so I'm a ok.

[Clutch]

My mom's dad was adopted.

[Wraith]

You are very fortunate to have been able to find your parents even if they are short of respectable. I was adopted at a time when all Ohio adoptions were sealed. I have to get my non identifying information by petitioning the court which I've done on numerous occassions in the past all to no avail. Then I became friends with the presiding judge who offered to open my records for me. But something in the records made it impossible to open them to me. (I was orphaned through an act of violence is why.) To make a long story short, I'll never be able to get my full story. What I have found has taken me over 20 years to find. To make matters worse, Ohio is one of the states that will change all birth information to protect all parties involved. Makes for a much harder search.

But yeah, you're not alone.

[Devildog]

I was adopted a month after birth. I found my biological mother and family about 4 1/2 years ago. Funny thing is they lived in the same county I grew up in. I still talk to my mother to this day.

[Dougrich]

That's not good. I think it's extremely unfair for people like us not to be able to get information that is rightful ours to have. The social worker that located my mom gave the information and was like under article whatever of the ORC I can't give you the contact information of your mother until your 21. I was wtf and then she's like well here a letter she to you....i'm to go use the restroom I'll be back in five minutes. lol that's how I got all my information. When I turn 21 I'll be able to petition for all information but i already know it, but I'm going to try and get all medical information I can get.

Devildog, that's crazy lol. That cool though.

[airsoft31]

My mom's dad was adopted.

realy dude? i never knew that

[skywalker]

My dad was adopted. He has never met his biological parents and he's never really looked into finding them. He doesn't know where he was originally born and for some reason does not care. The only thing we think we know is that his original name was Jack. It is now Greg. His birthday is 11/7 of 62 and that is his original birthday. So no pattern here.

[joshua25]

My brother and I were both adopted when we were very little I think around 2 or 3 we were adopted inside the family. My bio mother gave my brother and I to her older sister, I we found out by mistake when our cousin spilled the beans, my parents never told us who our bio mother was only thing he said was she is part of the family.

[Dougrich]

My parents told from the get go,because I was asking question and they didn't have answers, lol.

[Clutch]

realy dude? i never knew that

Yeah. He is the one that lives near Cincinnati.

[Wraith]

My dad was adopted. He has never met his biological parents and he's never really looked into finding them. He doesn't know where he was originally born and for some reason does not care. The only thing we think we know is that his original name was Jack. It is now Greg. His birthday is 11/7 of 62 and that is his original birthday. So no pattern here.



I've heard people say they didn't care to know about the past. Maybe he's better off not knowing. Or maybe he remembers more than he's willing to tell.
Heck, my wife and I have been together for almost 16 years and I just told her a couple days ago about how I became an orphan.

Whatever the case may be, searching for my family has done more harm to me than good. It was very depressing when I turned 18 and thought my files would be opened to me only to find out that was not the case. Even more depressing to have searched for more than 20 years and only found a name and a date. That's it...nothing else to show for the time I've spent.

Oh, just a heads up to ya, if your dad's name was changed, you can almost bet that his birthdate was changed as well. I don't know about your father, but my name was changed for a reason. That is what they do when something happens and they need to hide a kid...there isn't any chance his name could've been Jimmy is there? I had a brother named Jimmy once who was older than me. He was adopted a couple years before me though. I wouldn't have a clue what his name would be now. My name was Jake...well that was my orphan name anyway. Real name was Edward.

LOL, no the birthday pattern is just something my wife and I discussed just two nights ago. I didn't think anyone else would have that exact pattern or follow it. Just wondering if there were any other patterns people have noticed in their families.

[CAR15A2]

I am not adopted, but I am a "birth father".

I fathered a son when I was 16 years old and he was adopted. Although the records were sealed in those days (1974) I was able to find out a name and address in the 1980s.

I met my son last year for the first time on his 33rd birthday. This year I reunited him with his birth mother.

So far things have worked out well for all of us. My son always new he was adopted. Ironically he has the same first name as me. His parents originally chose another name for him, but once they got him home, his mom had strange feeling that she HAD to name him Gregory.

Pretty weird.

[Dougrich]

That's cool...ironic but really cool.

[Wraith]

I am not adopted, but I am a "birth father".

I fathered a son when I was 16 years old and he was adopted. Although the records were sealed in those days (1974) I was able to find out a name and address in the 1980s.

I met my son last year for the first time on his 33rd birthday. This year I reunited him with his birth mother.

So far things have worked out well for all of us. My son always new he was adopted. Ironically he has the same first name as me. His parents originally chose another name for him, but once they got him home, his mom had strange feeling that she HAD to name him Gregory.

Pretty weird.



That is pretty weird indeed. That is kinda what I was talking about on a smaller scale. It could be a coincidence, but it sure is strange.

Nurture or nature? I believe it to be a little of both. But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

By the way, congrats to everyone who has been reunited. I can't imagine what it must've been like.

Good thread Dougrich. It's not very often I get to talk to other adoptees. I'd say you've probably ran across that problem too.

[CAR15A2]

I can tell you from my own experience that Nature is a much, much bigger factor than nuture. Greg and I are so much alike it is scary.

I won't bore you with the details, but the nature/nurture question is answered as far as I am concerned.

[Dougrich]

Well thank you and yes I truly have came across that problem. It's very nice to talk about it and share stories about it.

Car15, one of the few and only times I've meet with bio dads side they showed me pictures of my dad at my age...wow is all i can say.

[airsoft31]

dang there are a lot of adopted people here

[hcso3716]

My biological mom emails me all the time now seeking forgiveness and trying to explain herself. I was never mad at her or had hard feelings, she did the right thing. Hell she was 16 when she crapped me out. I would like to know who my real dad. Just to see what he looks like. Hes probably a fat guy like me, with no hair...LOL

[hcso3716]

We should start an adopted airsoft team. We could call ourselves the "Bastards" or something funny along those lines.

[Dougrich]

We could call ourselves the "Bastards" or something funny along those lines.


That's priceless.


My mom was 16 as well.

[Reaper1]

I was adopted.

[Wraith]

My biological mom emails me all the time now seeking forgiveness and trying to explain herself. I was never mad at her or had hard feelings, she did the right thing. Hell she was 16 when she crapped me out. I would like to know who my real dad. Just to see what he looks like. Hes probably a fat guy like me, with no hair...LOL



That is something I have noticed on the adoption forums. There is usually feelings of guilt from the parent side. I can't remember ever being mad at my mother. I haven't seen where too many have been mad at their biological parents for it. Most realize that it was done for their own good. Now I do remember having so many questions I wanted to ask her when I was very young. I remember feeling...betrayed.(?) But as I got older I began to realize it wasn't something she would've done to me, but something she would've done for me.

I am curious though about my father. I was always told he had been killed in Vietnam. But so far everything I had been told back then has been wrong.

I would love to go through the old newspapers in Jeffersonville. I believe my answers lie there. I'm just not so sure I'm ready to accept what I believe I'm going to find.

[CAR15A2]

Have any of you contacted the the Adoption Network? It is a group of adoptees that work to help other adoptees and birth parents find each other and deal with a lot of these issues.

You may want to check it out.

And you guys are right. Birth parents almost always give up their children because they know it is in the child's best interest. I was sixteen and so was Greg's Mom. There was no way we could give our kid a decent life. He got one because we did the right thing, as hard as it was to do. And two wonderful people got to be parents that otherwise would not have had the chance on their own.

There are always feelings of guilt, thinking you have abandoned your own flesh and blood, even though you know its the right thing. It was helpful to me to meet the real parents (the ones that raised him). They did a great job.

Too bad the stupid rules back in the 1970s kept me from meeting them back then. It would have saved me years of anxiety.

Oh, on another note: I can be the leader of "the Bastards", and then I can abandon you all on the field.

[Wraith]

Have any of you contacted the the Adoption Network? It is a group of adoptees that work to help other adoptees and birth parents find each other and deal with a lot of these issues.

You may want to check it out.

And you guys are right. Birth parents almost always give up their children because they know it is in the child's best interest. I was sixteen and so was Greg's Mom. There was no way we could give our kid a decent life. He got one because we did the right thing, as hard as it was to do. And two wonderful people got to be parents that otherwise would not have had the chance on their own.

There are always feelings of guilt, thinking you have abandoned your own flesh and blood, even though you know its the right thing. It was helpful to me to meet the real parents (the ones that raised him). They did a great job.

Too bad the stupid rules back in the 1970s kept me from meeting them back then. It would have saved me years of anxiety.

Oh, on another note: I can be the leader of "the Bastards", and then I can abandon you all on the field.



I had tried it once, but I didn't have much information at that time as to what my name was or my birthdate. Hadn't crossed my mind since I found that info to go back and try again. I may have to do that.

That is just too funny. Then we would have to change the name from "the Bastards" to "the Disposable Bastards" (or, for the morally correct, "the Disposable Persons of Questionable Origins.")

[Loki]

I was Pseudo-adopted.

My mom had me in her first marriage, then her and my birth father got a divorce. She remarried when I was about 1.5-2 years old, and he legally adopted me, then changed my name. He then had a kid of his own (my sister), whom he always treated better than me (I was a second class citizen).

I didn't find any of this out until I was about 17 BTW.

[skywalker]

Wraith,

I asked him and he said he doesn't know his original name. But he does believe his orphanage "nickname" or what they called him in the orphanage was Jack. Its kind of weird, I look at him and to me, he looks nothing like a Jack. I picture Jack Bower though, LOL. But he only just "thinks" his name was Jack, he's not 100% certain.

[Wraith]

Wraith,

I asked him and he said he doesn't know his original name. But he does believe his orphanage "nickname" or what they called him in the orphanage was Jack. Its kind of weird, I look at him and to me, he looks nothing like a Jack. I picture Jack Bower though, LOL. But he only just "thinks" his name was Jack, he's not 100% certain.




Yeah, I was just curious. Didn't have any real hope there.

I have heard that exact same line used in reference to my name every time I've ever told someone about my past. ("Oh really? You don't look like a Jake." to which my response is: "Well, what does a Jake look like?") Hearing that is like nails on a chalkboard to me. But then again, I thought Jake to have been my true name up until recently. Once (and only once) in my life did someone tell me that Kevin suits me better than Jake did. I don't know if this has bothered anyone else or not, and it doesn't really bother me anymore, it's just been a thorn in my side in the past.

Loki, though I've always believed a person who has never lived through being adopted can never truely understand what it's like, I do believe a person from a split home can relate to what it's like. I have 3 step kids myself and have often thought about adopting them. I never pursued the issue because I didn't want them to think I was trying to take their dads place and I wasn't really sure how they would take the fact that they were adopted. Did it affect you at all when you found out? Do you feel the same way about the situation now as you did when you found out?

[Loki]

Loki, though I've always believed a person who has never lived through being adopted can never truely understand what it's like, I do believe a person from a split home can relate to what it's like. I have 3 step kids myself and have often thought about adopting them. I never pursued the issue because I didn't want them to think I was trying to take their dads place and I wasn't really sure how they would take the fact that they were adopted. Did it affect you at all when you found out? Do you feel the same way about the situation now as you did when you found out?

Not really to tell you the truth. He always treated me differently, so I guess I always suspected something. The only thing that really changed is that I finally knew WHY. It didn't really change my opinion of them man. :/

If you're thinking of adopting them, just ask. They'll tell you whether they want you to or not.

[Phil]

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a86/Kelvanis/mt746243851.jpg
One time my scout troop adopted a strip of highway.

[Dougrich]

lol

My orignal name was Trent summers. My adopted parents changed it to William Travis Richardson not to shabby.

[Reaper1]

what i find is weird, people who know im adopted, actually think i am going to be offended when they talk about it. i mean, to tell you the truth, i am so glad my birth mother put me up for adoption before i was born. i could have been an aborted fetus or living in God know's what kind of life. She was 19 at the time and her boyfriend, obviously my father, walked out when he found out she was pregnant

besides, if i hadn't been adopted, my last name would've been Cox :D

[Cut Throat]

Reaper, you seem to look and act like your dad, but it might just be me. Well my dad and all 4 of his siblings were "supposedly" adpoted when he was 12 after his mother died of breast cancer. His father was an alcholic and couldn't support them. They grew up in Price Hill and they were all supposed to be sent to live with their aunt in Indian Hills, but she was a heartless ***** and turned her shoulder to them. They lived at various friends houses till high school ended then my dad became a solider during the "cold war" and the rest worked low paying jobs to this day.

[Dougrich]

jeez, cut throat thats horrible.

[Wraith]

What I've found to be amazing is my 2 kids. I can see my wife in them, and her family traits, and I can see myself in them. And then there are the things that doesn't fit in with either myself or my wife. For instance, both my wife and I have green eyes. (Well, mine don't stay green. They change to bright blue sometimes.) But my kids both have bright blue eyes. I had figured that would change as they got older, but instead it has become more pronounced. My son's eyes change color like mine do. It's just kinda neat to see what must be my own family's traits in my kids. Have any of you guys who have kids noticed this?

[Son of Liberty]

Reaper I swear you are a spitting image of your dad. So much so that it's crazy.

[001]

Reaper your adopted? Your so much like your dad I thought you were cloned, lol, I would of never guessed.


jeez, cut throat thats horrible.

What he didn't mention is that his dad is now a 6 foot 200 something pound wall of muscle of a police detective who you would never, ever, f**k with, so i'd say he turned out pretty good.

[Reaper1]

I know, everyone says that. lol

but, once people realize that im the only one in my family with brown eyes, it makes sense. (Brown Eyes is a dominant gene).

but ive lived with my family since the day I was born, so maybe that's why i act like him.

[Dougrich]

I think nurture in my oppinion is the driving force behind how someone grows up and nature accounts for a much smaller percentile.

[Dougrich]

ugh, I'm in a bit of a delima over my biological dads side. I told you guys earlier that there a bunch of criminals and drugies. Well, apparently my thug dad's out of jail and despite numerous phone calls from them ergeing me to come see them again obviously I'm not. I've told them to leave me alone or I'll call the police, but they keep calling and even harassing my friend who lives on the same street as they are.

I don't know what to do. I could very easily get a withstraining order, but that brings up problems. I'm in school for criminal justice and want to be a police officer in a few years. Thus, if I get one it'll show up and then they'll find out who these people are and there records. Thus, It might be hard for me to get a job in law enforcement due to accoiation. Then there's the possibility they might lash out in anger agaisnt my friend and hurt him or worse.

Any suggestions?

[Wraith]

Dude, I wouldn't worry too much about your association with your biological father and his side of the family. If you are the one getting the restraining order and it shows up when they do a background check, then it only shows you were trying to distance yourself from their problems. As far as your friend is concerned, I'm at a loss as far as what to tell you. You could warn him/her of your intentions and let him/her know of the possibility of retalliation. But I doubt it would help anything.

[Dougrich]

That's good to know.

I see, well it was a concern of mine. I think he'll be able to fend for himself and we're both CJ majors and have connection though alot of the local police departments.